Is Your Child’s Development on Track? You May be Surprised by the Answer.
[Originally published at workingmomkind.com on March 6, 2021.]
Stop fretting about your child's development.
It's okay.
In fact, it's likely advised.
As a mother of three young girls, I have certainly felt the pressure of tracking my daughters' development. On various days, I have wondered to myself: Is she stringing together enough words? Is she running as fast as other children her age? Is she getting enough peer interaction? Should she be able to tie her shoes by now?
As a pediatric physical therapist, I also have the privilege of hearing the stories of many women and know that I am not alone in my worries. As mothers, sadly, we are very often our harshest critics. Day in and day out, I see the unrealistic pressures and demands that mothers place on themselves. The feeling of guilt is often palpable. 'How could I have let my child fall behind in "Area X?" 'Where could I have done better?'
Well, let me tell you, Mama: you are doing quite beautifully already.
Please allow me this opportunity to remind you that childhood is not a race to be won. It is a sacred time during which these precious beings learn to move, act, think, be, and serve in the ways that suit them best. A friend recently shared with me the analogy that children are popcorn kernels, developing, "popping," and coming into their own at various rates. Your child verbally "popped" at two while mine did at four? Lovely. Your baby took independent steps at ten months while I carried mine on my hip until she was 17 months? Cool. The variance in when and how they met their milestones is because they're two unique individuals.
When you really think about it, the similarities in the developmental trajectories of most infants and toddlers are quite fascinating. Without much direct coaching on what skills to learn next, given ample love and attention, these little wonders figure it out and keep growing and thriving. Children are astounding.
Instead of googling, "what is my child's next task-to-be-mastered," try squeezing in extra cuddles, kisses, and silliness with your little one. Better yet, find an extra hour or two to care for YOURSELF. In any year, in any moment, you deserve it. But particularly in the early months of 2021, when we're coming in on a full year of quarantine, you better believe that both you and your babes deserve a little extra TLC. It's time to start gifting yourself with all the grace.
[My small caveat to this: always follow the recommendations of your pediatrician and seek help if your child is truly and significantly falling behind and/or has medical complexities or a neurodevelopmental disability. Of course, I am an advocate for skilled intervention when intervention is needed! This is why my profession— and those like it— exist! The collective 'we' would be honored to work with your child and family. And STILL, please do not even think about being harsh with yourself!]
Sending you my love and peace, SuperMama!
